March 12, 2012


Digital Camera
Don’t you LOVE when you are going on vacation and someone says “bring me back something”?   Here is what I think when someone says that to me—you selfish MotherF*%#@R!   Being the person I am I do not want to just bring you back a keychain or a fridge magnet, and would you really appreciate that?  I doubt you are looking for the next shot glass for your extensive and might I add “that’s so 90s” collection.  So what you are asking is that I take time that cost me a vacation day, airline ticket, and/or hotel reservations, time I am supposed to be RELAXING to look for the perfect gift that symbolizes “my” vacation--just for you.  Well I have the answer for that, “how much are you looking to spend?”  That will be the price of the souvenir and a contingency fee for my time; contingency is based upon the total cost of my trip minus the time I spend searching for your trinket at which point I will not be VACATIONING but operating as your personal fucking shopper.  I only take cash and I expect payment in advance!  In other words--take your own vacation, and buy your own crap!

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